Fierce Saving

Very useful summary of ways in which to spend money to make yourself miserable. I'd say its specially useful for young people starting out on their own and beginning their first independent relationship with money. Bad habits begin early and have a way of becoming permanent. I grew up in a family that had endured a lot of post-partition trauma and just about every family member I can think of had this characteristic: 

Have such a fierce saving ideology that you’re never able to treat yourself to a good life you can afford. Act like money’s only purpose is to accumulate in your bank account, where instead of a tool to live a better life you’ve essentially formed an accounting hobby.

When I became a single-mother, I continued this learned habit. It seemed imperative given the circumstances, anything else felt reckless and irresponsible. It took a lot of time to let go of that "ferocity" and begin to relax. I remember a friend telling me once that being a single mom does not mean that I have no right to live. Back then, I had no idea what she meant and thought that she could say that because she was not in my shoes, did not have the confluence of issues I had to deal with everyday. Well-meaning no doubt, but she lacked empathy. 

With time, I observed how she lived and there was a lot to learn. She and her husband worked hard and had a comfortable but not affluent life. They did not have kids but there were relatives that needed a helping hand sometimes. They were considerate but not generous beyond their means. There an overarching sense of balance in their lives that was missing in mine. That might have been my first nudge to change how I lived and many others followed.