Concept Drift

While chatting with a couple of friends over dinner, the conversation drifted to the caste system in India and its attendant woes. It got me thinking about how frameworks (philosophical, social, or cultural)  evolve over time, and how drift inevitably occurs in complex systems. Concepts that start as fluid, flexible, and functional can, over centuries, ossify into rigid structures that bear only a shadow of their original intent.

 In its earliest form, the Varna system was intended as a classification based on inner nature, aptitude, and merit. Roles such as Brahmana, Kshatriya, Vaishya, and Shudra were assigned according to character and capability rather than birth. I remember learning about this as a young person and feeling a sense of pride at how egalitarian it was, a framework where effort and merit mattered. Over time, however, social and political forces, including the institutionalization of the priesthood and settled agrarian economies, hardened Varna into a hereditary hierarchy. Spiritual and ethical flexibility gave way to status-seeking and exclusion, justified through ritualized interpretations of Karma and Dharma.

Similarly, Dharma, originally understood as the universal law of cosmic order, emphasized an internalized sense of righteousness and harmony. Gradually, it became an externalized, codified system of social obligations and ritualistic morality, shaped by legalistic texts and the demands of complex societies. As Dharma turned into a mechanism to enforce social rules, it intertwined with the rigid Varna hierarchy, reinforcing the idea that deviation from one’s assigned role disrupted both the cosmic and social order. Karma underwent a similar transformation, evolving from selfless action meant to purify the mind into a mechanistic system of retributive justice that justified social hierarchies and framed birth and circumstance as earned outcomes.

Yoga provides a contemporary example of this same drift which has continued unabated. Originally a rigorous discipline for self-realization, it has largely been reduced to exercise routines or wellness trends in the modern West. Commercialization drives a multibillion-dollar industry of apparel, apps, and certifications, but the ethical and meditative components are often a remote afterthought. Many practitioners engage primarily for fitness, as they would a Pilates or Barre class. Yoga today illustrates vividly how far a foundational concept can drift over time, moving from profound spiritual practice to commodified, superficial engagement. Like Varna, this a cautionary tale of devolution in action.

Refined Solitude

As I was leaving yoga class recently, I overheard a woman I’ll call C mentioning to her neighbor that she had started graduate school and was absolutely loving it. This came in response to the other woman noting that her own daughter had decided to pursue a master’s degree. When the neighbor asked, "How do you find the time?" C laughed and replied that she lives alone and has plenty of time for self-improvement. She had mentioned some time ago that she is actually retired, though you would never guess it given her nimbleness and remarkably youthful appearance. While C smiles at everyone, she rarely lingers to chat. I don't know her at all, but having observed her for a while, I imagine she is deeply content in her solitude and uses her time with a rare kind of efficiency. If one were to label her, C would be the quintessential introvert focused on self-culture, the kind of person who would have been venerated in older, more contemplative cultures, but who can feel out of step with these modern times.

Today, we tend to reward the extroverted, those adept at the kind of social networking and constant connectivity that is now frequently conflated with success. When this hyper-visibility is the standard of what is "good" or "desirable," the choice to withdraw into oneself can feel like a radical act of defiance. As such, a lack of interest in socializing is often viewed as a deficit or a withdrawal into apathy, yet many of the world’s most profound philosophical traditions argue that this path aligns with a deep spiritual commitment. Rather than a mere avoidance of the world, this specific type of introversion represents a strategic refinement of the self. It is a process where the individual prioritizes the improvement of both body and mind to reach a higher state of clarity or truth. I like to imagine that C is one of those people, practicing a form of modern asceticism that values depth over breadth.

Many Eastern traditions emphasize that social "clutter" creates a kind of cognitive noise that prevents the individual from seeing reality as it truly is. Taoist teachings use the evocative metaphor of a child’s bracelets to illustrate this: two bracelets on a single wrist clang together and create noise, while a single bracelet remains in peaceful silence. This suggests that true contentment is only found when one learns to be satisfied in isolation, free from the "clanging" of social obligation. For the introverted seeker, improving the body is rarely a matter of vanity; instead, it is about building a stable vessel capable of supporting deep mental work. It makes perfect sense that C is a regular at yoga class and is so proficient at it; she is using the physical discipline of the asana to ground her mind. She is the person I prefer to keep in my peripheral view to make sure I am getting my own practice right.

I recall reading that a person focusing on self-improvement in solitude is like a goldsmith refining gold. To reach a newer and better form, the gold must be taken apart and isolated from the "dross" of the external world. It must endure the heat of the forge alone. However, even the finest gold is ultimately meant to be fashioned into a useful vessel for others, not just to sit isolated in the forge forever. I have a feeling that C will eventually put her graduate education to work in a way that serves a purpose beyond herself. She does not strike me as the kind of person to sit alone in the forge indefinitely; rather, she seems to be in the process of becoming something of high value, preparing herself in the quiet so that when she does contribute, it is with the weight and purity of refined gold.

Creating Frameworks

Interesting concept that the brain creates religion and the religious experience whatever form it takes boosts serotonin levels which is a state a person will want to return to. My friend R is one of those moms that likes to use religion as a framework to raise her kid- nothing unusual about it. It can be argued that is one of the most practical uses of religion - to give a young person guardrails to protect themselves when they are out in the world, tempted to do things that will harm them and have long-term if not irreversible consequences. The parent will not always be there to help the child decisions many of which are made in real-time. 

The idea is to have the boundaries so well defined that they would naturally stop when they bump into them and disaster is averted even when the parent was not available for consultation. This is the approach my mother took with me and is not at all uncommon for parents in India. From personal experience it served me well in many instances but sometimes it was a great disservice - there is no perfect framework. I decided to allow J come to religion in her own time in her own way and limited my efforts to living a life by moral standards I was raised on. I hoped that would serve her better than me "preaching" how to be. I made many adaptations to give her the opportunity to think for herself instead of providing a prescription. The challenge is the child is often too young to do the level of thinking needed and have no life experience to pull from. So the outcomes are not what you would want or expect.

As in my case, the results have been mixed for her - approach is not ideal either. Fabrication of the brain or not, there is a use for religion but to use it optimally for the circumstances is no easy feat, specially that each parent-child combination is different and there is no universal solution that works in all contexts. 

Paid Prayer

It's hard to tell what to make on this new "innovation" that comes from the Vatican.

The Vatican says the device -- part of the Pope's Worldwide Prayer Network -- is designed as a tech-based teaching tool for learning "how to pray the rosary for peace in the world." The corresponding app features personalized religious content, as well as health tracking info gleaned from the bracelet. It's on sale now for 99 euros ($110/£85).

Its unclear how the stated goals for this thing will get accomplished. In the least, if the objective is to pray for world peace, then all people praying with the beads should be connected to each other and keep uniform pace and experience that in-synch feeling with their fellow humans. Why would that not be part of the Minimum Viable Product? 

And clearly, such prayers will be coming from the very privileged. $110 is how much a really poor family might make in a month. Maybe they can just wait for the rich to pray for their salvation one click at a time.

Alternate Gospel

I have a budding atheist in my home. J is on the fence about God at this time but likes what little she knows about Buddhism. She would much rather there were a scientific way to explain God away. That would just make things easier for her and life would be all in good order. I prefer not to bias her one way or the other but encourage her to learn about all religions and see what makes sense for her. I tell her maybe there is a way to create something personalized that meets her needs and the content could come from various sources. No one religion may be right for her but ideas from several could be.

In a time where information comes packaged, small and easy to consume TED Talk style, getting her interested in any serious reading of religious texts is an uphill battle. I choose mine wisely - there are many more urgent ones I need to fight and win with her. The metaphysical development of J has sadly got to go on the back-burner for now. That said,  The Gospel According to Terry is a fun read - something even J will have the patience for 

the Almighty has proven more resilient than His celebrated detractors and would-be assassins. God “has proved remarkably difficult to dispose of”; indeed, atheism itself has proven to be “not as easy as it looks.”

Tranquility Emergency

Reading this Pico Iyer piece on cathedrals and their role in our lives, took me back fifteen years to the last time I had the privilege of listening to a monk discourse on the relevance of the Bhagwad Gita in our modern world - our daily lives.  A large number of devotees had gathered there that afternoon to listen to him. Having arrived there very early, I had the opportunity to sit down and enjoy the tranquility of the ashram along with a few others scattered around in the large hall. 

Iyer says of Saint Patrick's cathedral in NYC :

It was the frame that gave everything else definition. Ever since, I’ve made it my practice to step into that great thronged space whenever I return to the city, to remind myself of what is real, what is lasting, before giving myself to everything that isn’t. A chapel is the deepest silence we can absorb, unless we stay in a cloister. A chapel is where we allow ourselves to be broken open as if we were children again, trembling at home before our parents.

There is a stark pureness to the quality of that silence he describes - one that nobody wishes to desecrate. Instead you try to calm the inner turmoil of thoughts that you can now hear as noise - you wish that "deepest silence"  would magically permeate you. 

A Little Knowledge

The other day DB and I were talking about people of a certain age coming to feel inexplicable emptiness in their lives. When everything is functioning on autopilot and there are no big problems (money, health, substance abuse etc) to worry about, instead of feeling at peace they feel lost and miserable. Often a true spiritual guru may be able to answer what ails them and lead them out of it but it is certainly not easy to find one. Is the guru not supposed to seek out the disciple when they are ready ?

The stories of charlatans and false prophets are widely known as are the accounts of the damage they wreck upon the lives of their gullible followers. The conversation got me thinking about another kind of misguidance that parents and other adults may provide a child. In many Hindu families of my acquaintance I have seen adults take a parable or quote from a religious text, translated, diluted and distorted in the final rendition to make a point to a child. 

While they have the best intent, they lack the qualifications for the job they are setting to undertake. So their lesson may be entirely incorrect and do more harm than good. The child might in fact have been better served without the lesson in morality and ethics. The body of knowledge is too vast for an average person to assimilate on their own and good teachers are hard to come by. The oral tradition has been on the decline for a few generations now so the learning parents pass on to their children is a pastiche culled from a variety of sources - not all equally reliable. 

When I was growing up, I often heard adults talk about the misogynistic views expressed in Manu-samhita and how it stymied the growth of the Indian woman for hundreds of years. Manu was held directly responsible for all the social ills of the country. Random quotes would be tossed up and torn apart for the purposes of these discussions. Though I was too young to participate, I itched to ask how many had read the original Sanskrit version of the text, how many had read any expert commentaries to it and finally what was the overall context of the quote that was under fire. 

Similarly, someone would quote a short passage from the Bhagavad Gita or one of the Upanishads and expound on it as if the literal translation was all that there was to it. My childhood is rife with examples of adults with dangerously little knowledge of Hindu philosophy attempting to mold my world view and teach me the art of living. Lately, I find myself trying to rid my system of all that meaningless clutter - become knowledge free so I have a shot of learning something right.

Life Lessons And Books

To paraphrase a cliche, some books like people come into our life for a reason, season or lifetime. They are like connections that will happen if and only when they are supposed to. A line from a volume of poetry that you were going to return unread, something that jumps at you while browsing through a random pop-psychology book selling at a Dollar Store or even a the words out of a character's mouth in a work of fiction or a movie - they can all become imbued with the deepest significance in our lives depending on timing. At a time when I struggled with having to stand up in defiance to someone who was close to me and hurt me relentlessly, I recalled a line from the Kathamrita :
 
“One should hiss to bad persons to frighten them away, so that they may not harm you later on. One must not inject poison into them and injure them." 
 
Some years later, I would  read The Road Less Traveled where the author talks about anger and the reason to regulate and have the ability to direct it in ways appropriate to the situation : 
 
"To function successfully in our complex world it is necessary for us to possess the capacity not only to express our anger but also not to express it. Moreover, we must possess the capacity to express our anger in different ways. At times, for instance, it is necessary to express it only after much deliberation and self-evaluation. At other times it is more to our benefit to express it immediately and spontaneously. Sometimes it is best to express it coldly and calmly; at other times loudly and hotly." 

At the time of reading this book I was going through a phase where I needed to accept "Life is difficult" on several different levels and try to cope with old resentments that had resurfaced. Whereas the "hiss" had sufficed the first time, I needed a more direct approach now and felt wrong about feeling so angry in the first place. I remembered some Buddhist writing on the subject that cautioned repeatedly against harboring anger. The Buddha said :

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."

I was no longer sure if being angry was the right or wrong response to my particular situation, if to expel it in a choreographed manner as Peck suggested was the way to go or if should let go of the hot coal before it burned me.Demonstrating the ability to work up a fury - the hiss I thought Sri Ramakrishna suggested, was simply not working out anymore. While I felt frustrated at the lack of clear direction, I realized that I had read what I had read at critical points of time in my life. They were books for a reason, season or a lifetime. It was up to me to slot them correctly and I was not quite up to that task.

Dr Devdutt Pattanaik

A lot has been written by children of FOB parents about their coming of age in the west while being brown and sometimes Hindu. Unfortunately, I have found little if any practical use for it. Much of this genre of writing is about the consequences of omissions, mistakes, short-sightedness and such on the part of the FOB parent. While it is great to know what not to do for and to our children born in the west, what we really need is help to get it right.

For me, that help came in the way of a website I ran into some time ago. It belongs to Dr. Devdutt Pattanaik who among other things is Chief Belief Officer for the Future Group. Browsing through the articles on his website, I found the thought process and style of writing that would resonate with any young person who is curious about Hinduism irrespective of where they are born or raised. For a parent, there is a lot to learn too - understanding the underpinnings of Hindu mythology and more importantly how to introduce children to it.

Dr. Pattanaik was kind enough to answer some questions that I believe are relevant to parents like myself.

1.    What is the best way to introduce Hinduism to young children who are an ethnic and religious minority in the country where they are born and being raised?

I think the children must be told that different people look at the world differently. This is the most critical thought that a child must be given. A cat looks at water differently from a fish. A horse looks at grass differently from a lion. So differently people see the world differently.

Once this idea is established children must then be told that every person thinks their view is the only and correct view. But it is not so. We must allow others to have their views. That is love. And others must allow us to have our views. That is love too. Without this foundation, it will be difficult to help children deal with the pressures of being a minority.

2. What are some of the things a parent can do to get their child curious about their religion and culture without actually forcing them into learn about it ?

By making the rituals fun. Rituals are about doing things. Rituals are choreographed to connect with us symbolically. Making rangoli can be fun. Cooking prasad can be fun. Doing puja – bathing the image, dressing it up, feeding it, singing songs to it – can be fun. The child will notice that the fun is associated with a deep reverence. Then he will question. Often this the point where parents turn rituals into ‘holy cows’ and lose the opportunity to help their children gain an understanding of their cultural world.

Parents, most often because of their own lack of knowledge, turn the sacred into scary. The child will sense whether the parent truly respects the rituals and finds them empowering or if he doing it merely to reinforce his threatened identity. Often no one knows the reason why a ritual is performed and that is ok. Parents have to admit that they don’t know the reason and they are doing what their parents did and following tradition. Its ok not to know. And it is not necessary to understand everything in the world. Sometimes understanding comes over time. I notice many people have this urgency to know the meaning of rituals immediately. The search for meaning is either frustrating or leads to some rather bizarre conclusions. 

3.When it comes to Hindu mythology, there are either over-simplified books (geared towards kids) and there are the scholarly tomes. Neither is a good fit for a curious young person who needs something in between they can read independently. What kind of books would you recommend for them ?

My books!  I became a writer because I saw this gap. Often the answers are not what the parents expect. The problem is that authors are burdened by wanting to make Hinduism look nice. The measuring scale is that of other religions. As a result writing becomes apologetic and defensive. People are trying but often I find writers have a poor understanding of the subject and so are unable to appreciate the complexities and so end up with awkward prose.

Try explaining the idea of Krishna surrounded by hundreds of milkmaids doing Raas Lila to a child. Are those girls, Krishna’s friends? So is it ok for a boy to have many girlfriends? Are those girls his wives? So is it polygamy? Rather than answer such blunt uncomfortable questions, some writers escape into metaphysics – using words like Paramatma and Jivatma which, unless you are a believer, sounds like gobbledygook.  At one level they are true, but like all symbols, there is no one answer. There are layers of answers. Many answers one finds are usually not what parents expect or find appropriate, because these stories are catering not just to children but adults.

To simplify them without being simplistic (and sometimes stupid) requires a lot of effort. The story is trying to show the idea of love that is unfettered by law and custom; thus the milkmaids are in no way related to Krishna. Now this idea can be quite scary to a parent. One has to go in stages. Simplistic answer initially then more complex ones. There is no one standard answer. There are many answers, each one suiting one’s age, one’s temperament, one’s emotional and intellectual maturity. This is Hindu pluralism. 

4. Do you think children actually benefit from hearing or reading a watered-down versions of Ramayan and Mahabharat where the complexity of the characters and their motivations is all but lost ?

As people mature, stories evolve. The story told to a three year old is different from that which is told to a thirteen year old. We must keep telling children there is more. Provoke them to be curious. Include them in conversations about the characters. Say the mother and father discuss how Karna was killed. The child can overhear the various arguments. There is no right answer so one must allow the arguments to stand strongly without tilting one way or another. The child by overhearing this, again and again, will be able to appreciate the complexity of life – as Hinduism seeks to portray. 

5. What would enable a child make the connections between religion, mythology and day to day life in the modern world ?

I think by making religion and mythology part of day to day life. So lets say we are discussing the war in Afghanistan. This can be associated easily with the Ramayana. Just as Ravan had no right to kidnap another man’s wife, the terrorists had no right to destroy the World Trade Centre. Of course, as the child grows up, the arguments can get more sophisticated. Why do we assume that the Americans are Ram? Maybe the terrorists see themselves as Ram, maybe the attack was the burning of Lanka. This will lead to discussions and debates. In these discussions and debates, pros and cons, the Argumentative Indian is born – one who is able to see things from multiple points of view before taking a decision. 

6. How can learning about Hindu mythology the right way enable a young person to develop a deeper appreciation for the universality of the main concerns in all religions?

Yes and no. All religions have common features. But they also have uncommon features. Many people overlook the latter and this leads to conflict. For example, Hindus do not have the notion of Original Sin or Prophet. But like all religions, Hinduism is deeply concerned about what is appropriate social conduct (dharma) and happiness.

7. Do you have any recommendations for daily reading that may help a young person to navigate with greater confidence through their life - specially when the world outside is very dissimilar to the world inside their homes ?

Step 1 – Read the Amar Chitra Katha. Step 2 – Discuss the stories and don’t let the comic be the end. Discussion is the key. Stories are to be told, not read. Step 3 – don’t reach a conclusion, don’t justify, don’t apologize, don’t defend …..just try and understand why the story was told by our ancestors. 

8. Finally, if  a parent's goal is to enable their Hindu child to be an open-minded, well-adjusted global citizen who is deeply aware of their own religion but is able and willing to embrace learning from others as well, what must such a parent not do ?

Have confidence in Hinduism. This means that one does not have to put down other religions just to feel true to one’s own religion. Personally, I find the ‘cult of outrage’ that is spreading like an epidemic a problem. Everyone gets outraged when they feel their religion is being mocked or threatened. Instead of outrage, we need more understanding, love, inclusion and forgiveness. We must remind ourselves that while Ram kills Ravan, for a crime, he also acknowledges Ravan as a great scholar and teacher. Thus a holistic view is taken – parts that are condemned are condemned but not the whole. 

Outsider

T and I go back a long way. Recently we were chatting about the role of organized religion in our lives and how we both find it hard to participate in it. I am Hindu, T is not and we both have the same challenges relating to the role of religion in our lives. I have always felt awkward at religious ceremonious at a temple and try to go there when nothing is going on so I can just spend some quiet time in front of the deity without having to go through the motions of a puja.

Now that we are both parents, we feel additionally challenged in trying to get our children connected to religion as we feel we must. J used to love going to the temple but after a few times of having participated in an actual puja, she is starting not to enjoy the experience. Whether or not that is on account of my attitude, I definitely blame myself for this change in J. There must be a subliminal sense of guilt about my inability to commune with my co-religionists because I would love nothing more than for J to able to do so.

I have always been awe of those who are conversant with rituals and participate in them with a great deal of enthusiasm. They seem to have something that is tantalizing within reach for me and yet I will never have what they do. It was surprising to hear T talk about the very same feelings. Apparently, it does not matter what the nature of your religion - polytheistic (like mine) or monotheistic (like T's), not being able to take part in it's organized aspects leaves one feeling unfulfilled and even like an outsider. I hope J fares better and different than I have though I am not sure how that might even be possible.

An Outside View

I have read way too much about Wendy Doniger to be read her books about Hinduism objectively. Up until reading this post in Marginal Revolution about the need to ask a non-Hindu about Hinduism, I was not particularly inclined to read anything by Doniger. Maybe there is something to be said of an outsider's view of a religion. While that view, may be completely unacceptable to the believers of the religion it could be helpful in other ways.

In an extreme oversimplification, if Doniger can be taken to represent the a certain culture and ethnicity, her views could serve as a proxy for their view of Hindus and Hinduism. Having this external cultural perspective on something as personal as religion can be instructive even if it is not agreeable. Instead we have a lot of earnest people who believe passionately about ensuring the facts present are right, and agonize over the accuracy of the interpretation.

If we could instead view the material as a creative writing and not assign to it any gravitas, we might get a lot more value out of it. I would almost equate it to an inoculation against the full-blown disease. Thanks to Tyler Cowen, Doniger is now on my reading list.

Keeping Faith

Faith can be a tenuous thing sometimes. A few days ago, J and I were watching the movie The Secret Of The Magic Gourd. The lessons it teaches are important ones - having all your wishes granted can often lead to unforeseen trouble and working hard to earn something is the best reward possible. As luck would have it earlier in the day, J's faith was put to a little test.

She had done her homework and put it away in the homework folder which also happens to be the folder in which her teacher sends a battery of paperwork home each day. One of my daily chores is to sift through those papers, attend to any that need attending and trash the rest. But it gets even more complicated. Often classwork is sent home without anything to indicate that the teacher had reviewed or graded it - in the self-same folder. I can't imagine why it would be horribly difficult to have three color-coded folders for the three different types of paper-work.

So, the previous night, while going through the three-timing "homework" folder, I had inadvertently removed the homework sheet. This is not the first time that I have made such a mistake. Luckily, I have discovered it before going to work and have dropped it off at the school. Even her teacher has come to expect that missing homework will show up before 9:00 a.m. This time, I did not notice the homework and did not bring it in.

Right after we had watched the movie, J started to cry and said "You say if you pray to God with all your heart for something, you always get it. So why did I not get my homework. I prayed really hard but God did not listen to me" There was also the fact of her not being at fault. She had done her part and yet was penalized like she had not. There was disappointment at the unfairness of what had happened and a certain amount of righteous indignation. She wanted to be angry at me but could not do so in good conscience given my excellent track record with bring in missing homework - J tends to be very fair while assigning blame.

While all of that was easily resolved, the issue of faith was quite another matter. I am guessing J's prayers have been answered so far or situations have resolved themselves to her satisfaction. It was hard for me rationalize what had happened while reaffirming the value of her faith in prayer. We talked about lessons learned and how sometimes the lesson is far more valuable over time than immediate wish fulfillment and the movie we had just watched became an excellent point of reference. J went to bed feeling a lot better.Maybe such is the power of prayer.

Science In Religion

When there is no respite from discussions on war and the fantastic unraveling of the economy wherever you turn to, it is a relief to come across something different - as in a report on Buddhist monks at Sarnath learning science. The friendship between science and religion is obviously helpful and something one wishes would spread to faiths other than Buddhism. To quote The Dalai Lama :

"It is all too evident that our moral thinking simply has not been able to keep pace with such rapid progress in our acquisition of knowledge and power"

Then there is a Carl Sagan's perspective on the same subject :

In science it often happens that scientists say, 'You know that's a really good argument; my position is mistaken,' and then they actually change their minds and you never hear that old view from them again. They really do it. It doesn't happen as often as it should, because scientists are human and change is sometimes painful. But it happens every day. I cannot recall the last time something like that happened in politics or religion.

Holograms And Maya

It has been reported lately that the universe may actually be a hologram and this article adds that the brain may be one too. It is fascinating what you get when you combine the two facts together - namely the holographic paradigm :

But the most mind-boggling aspect of Pribram's holographic model of the brain is what happens when it is put together with Bohm's theory. For if the concreteness of the world is but a secondary reality and what is "there" is actually a holographic blur of frequencies, and if the brain is also a hologram and only selects some of the frequencies out of this blur and mathematically transforms them into sensory perceptions, what becomes of objective reality?

Put quite simply, it ceases to exist. As the religions of the East have long upheld, the material world is Maya, an illusion, and although we may think we are physical beings moving through a physical world, this too is an illusion. We are really "receivers" floating through a kaleidoscopic sea of frequency, and what we extract from this sea and transmogrify into physical reality is but one channel from many extracted out of the superhologram.

Recognizing Peace

There is so much to learn and ponder over in the His Holiness The Dalai Lama's talk on Peace and Prosperity recording by National Geographic. There are some words of wisdom that make a deeper impact than the rest because they happen to strike closer home. For me, that was The Dalai Lama's explanation of what separates non-violence from violence and how motivation for a certain action is what ultimately determines whether or not it can be called violent.

The examples he cited were a mother disciplining her child in a harsh tone or a genuinely caring teacher doing so with a student. In both cases, the actions would appear outwardly violent without actually being so. The motivation stems from love, concern and a desire to do good for the person towards whom the apparent violence is directed. According to His Holiness that disqualifies the act from being one of violence. On the contrary he says the use of guile, charm or bribery to serve some questionable ulterior motive while appearing peaceful outwardly is in truth an act of violence even when there are no outward signs of it.

Hearing these words, helped me understand why I never experienced peace and tranquility when I was married though we never once had an argument. There was this simmering undercurrent of unspoken words, unexpressed emotions that ran through our home which made it impossible to feel at peace there. Yet there was never any outward sign of disquiet - it was easy to get lulled into a false sense of well-being, it was easier still to give others the impression that we were a very happy couple. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Now, that J and I are on are own, every morning on a school-day is fraught with tension, bustle and commotion. I am running around like a tornado trying to get J out on time to catch the school bus. My child has many endearing qualities but the ability to comprehend the passage of time is not one is she is blessed with.

So I am hurrying her up with her shower, finishing breakfast, putting on her clothes and doing her hair even as I try to pack a lunch and snack that will meet with her approval on that particular day. There is much anxiety, shouting and sometimes even tears to get through this ordeal. The day begins with the absolute absence of peace. I used to wonder how it is then that my home feels so tranquil - even after starting on such a melodramatic note each day. I believe that I have my answer now.

Divine Wisdom

My friend F is has gone from being indifferent about religion (all including her own) to becoming deeply involved in hers. The transformation happened within the last couple of years. While I am not sure under what circumstances this happened, but I am only too aware of the manifestations. We don't meet socially any more because any spare time she has, she prefers to spend deepening her religious immersion.

We have not met in months but she expects me to drop everything when she is finally able to do lunch. But that is not what this is all about. I get a mail from her at around 9:15 a.m each morning that has a thought for the day borrowed from DailyOM, a short prayer and a verse from her holy book. figure she takes some trouble to kit this thing together each day so maybe I should read it and I do try.

I am not offended to read a prayer or verse that is not from my religion but I almost view her daily religious onslaught as covert proselytism that is not a very pleasant thing to think about. Ofcourse, there are ways to deal with it. I can block her email address (which is her work address) or filter her messages out based on keywords. To do such a thing would be to reject what is most important to her and in effect reject her as well.

I still think (or at least want to think) of her as a friend. I want to be respectful towards her religious beliefs and honor the best traditions of my own. I would not be much of a Hindu if I was not able to embrace religious thoughts foreign to my own and learn something from it as well. It seems like F is challenging me each day and each day I am failing.

I usually delete her mails unread. On the rare occasions that I do read, I find myself unable to learn or accept anything. The question is then, what role is F's daily dose playing in my life and why is it bothering me to the point where I want to write about it and get it out of my system.

Recently, there was a round of lay offs in F's business unit while she was out on vacation (I did not know that she was). The mails had not been coming in each day and I was growing concerned. By the end of the week, I wrote F and asked her what was going on and why she was not sending out her mails anymore - I missed them. It turned out that she was fine and the mails were back again. I find myself appreciating them more than I ever did before.

Germs and Religion

Reading this article in the Economist - Praying for Health, reminded me of my abortive attempt to read Jared Diamond's book Gun, Germs, and Steel. A friend had recommended the book and his short summary of the book's central themes sounded interesting. Diamond's book is not made for easy or even enjoyable reading.

If you can push yourself hard enough, you might get through it and get something out of it for your troubles. But if you are attention span challenged like I am, you'll be lucky to make it to page fifty. The Economist article cites the following conclusion of two researches Corey Fincher and Randy Thornhill :

The two researchers also looked at anthropological data on how much people in “traditional” (ie, non-urban) societies move around in different parts of the world. They found that in more religiously diverse (and more disease-ridden) places people move shorter distances than in healthier, religiously monotonous societies. The implication is that religious diversity causes people to keep themselves to themselves, and thus makes it harder for them to catch germs from infidels.

This seems similar to Diamond's argument that ancient societies succeeded or failed based on the luck of the geographical draw. Likewise, people would be more or less disease-ridden based on the religious make-up of their environment. The case for tying germs and religion does actually come in the conclusion of the article :

Perhaps, then, the underlying reason why there is so much hostility between ethnic groups is nothing to do with the groups themselves, but instead with the diseases they may bring.

Indian Food

With my mother visiting us, J and I are getting to eat authetic bengali food every day. When I am on my own, this is a very special treat reserved for days when I have time to cook the varied spread it takes to make a full, multi-course meal. Having lived in many other parts of India as well, I know the same is true of most regional Indian cuisine. A traditioal Indian meal is elaborate and takes a lot of work to put together. Our mothers and grandmothers took pride in following the recipes religiously and not cutting any corners. My generation and beyond often have to improvise for the sheer lack of time and resources to do things right. The results needless to say, speak for themselves.

Reading this Buddhadev Bose (an author revered by bengali literastes for his style, substance and erudition) essay on bengali gastronomy makes me wonder if there might a little more than nostalgia in what makes food from my part of the world so special. While he is on the theme of Bengali food, he also addresses the point I try to vain to make to people who question how it possible for me to be a Hindu and have no religious restrictions on my diet. When I say and I can be an omnivore if I choose to and be no less a Hindu for that I perplex desis just as much as I do the non-desis. Maybe I can now cite the Bose's essay to my defense. He says :

We cannot be sure whether there was ever a standard diet for the whole of India--available records are meagre, and no gastronomic counterpart of the Kamasutra is in existence. All we can guess on the basis of literary evidence is that the ancients were a meat-eating, wine-tippling people, inordinately fond of milk-products and beef-eaters as well.[1]

The Buddha himself did not impose a ceiling ban on flesh-eating, many of his followers (Bengalis?) ate fish habitually. The only strict vegetarians in ancient India were the Jains--a rather small and relatively isolated community with scant influence on the social life of orthodox sects. How and when both beef and pork came to be interdicted and the great schism between vegetarians and flesh-eaters arose on the Indian soil cannot be ascertained with any degree of precision; we do not even know whether these arose of religious or circumstantial pressure. Nor we can form a clear idea about the type or types of cooking current in the Vedic and epic ages.

Homer describes each meal with meticulous care, dwelling on every detail from the slitting of the bull's throat to the hearty appetites of the heroes; but the great sprawling Mahabharata is remarkably--even annoyingly--silent on such points. The phrase randhane Draupadi--`a Draupadi for cooking' has come down to us and is cited to this day, but not once do we see this proud lady actually in the kitchen, not even during the period of exile; the feeding of the wrathful Durvasa and his one thousand disciples was magically accomplished by Krishna, without any effort on Draupadi's part.

Bhima, we are told, served a whole year as the chef in Virata's household, but as regards the delicacies he presumably concocted for the royal table, we are left completely in the dark. The Ramayana does a little better; we often see Rama and Lakshmana bringing home sackfuls of slain beasts (wild boars, iguanas, three or four varieties of deer. We are also told that their favourite family diet consisted of spike-roasted (meats) (shalyapakva), known nowadays as shik-kebab or shish-kebab); --unfortunately no other detail is supplied. Who skinned the carcasses or made the fire or turned the flesh on the spit, what were the greens and fruits eaten with the meat or the drinks with which it was washed down--all this is left to our conjecture.

Nevertheless, we are eternally grateful to Valmiki for the passage describing the entertainment provided by the sage Bharadvaja to Bharata and his retinue; there is nothing to compare with it in the Mahabharatan accounts of the Raivataka feast or Yudhishthira's Horse-Sacrifice. For once in our ancient literature we find the courses itemized--savoury soups cooked with fruit-juice, meat of the wild cock and peacock, venison and goat-mutton and boar's meat, desserts consisting of curds and rice-pudding and honeyed fruits, and much else of lesser importance. All this is served by beauteous nymphs on platters of silver and gold, wines and liqueurs flow freely, there is dance and music to heighten the spirit of the revels.

Granted that the whole account is somewhat fantastical--it was the gods who had showered this splendour on that forest hermitage--a splendour that rivals that of Ravana's palace in Lanka; but this at least tells us what Valmiki thought a royal banquet should be; evidently he had experience of a highly sophisticated culture.

Oracles

Found a mail with this link in the Bulk Folder of my mailbox. I am glad I looked before hitting delete because I love reading about mystical occurrences that cannot be explained scientifically.

The sacred oracle (tamra pothi) of Achyutananda Das is a series of blank copper pages. Once a questioner has asked his questions, the answers mystically appear engraved on the blank pages. This is one of the few verifiable mystical occurrences in the world that can be seen by anyone, even today.

When the Dalai Lama was in the news a lot recently, I read about the apparent contradiction in his faith in Oracles and strong affinity for science and technology. To a Hindu, there is not much contradiction there. We learn that there are limits to what science and logic can explain and then there is what lies beyond its pale.

As such, there is no dichotomy in a cardiologist seeking her family astrologer's counsel for the most important decisions in her life outside work. Her job is grounded in science, technology and reason, but the course of his life is guided by planets, stars and other unseen forces - two very unlike needs and therefore met in very different manners.

Forgiving A Parent

Anyone who has ever had a difficult relationship with a parent or an older family member they were expected to love and respect, would be familiar with the suffering and guilt that goes with not being able to forgive.

Along with hate for this person comes with the hate of oneself for being like them in the very ways that one finds the most detestable. Short of gouging out parts of oneself, there seems no way to get rid of these troubling traits and behavior patterns.

Even after coming to that difficult decision to let go of the past, there is often the question of who should make the first move towards rapprochement. The younger person is likely to see themselves as the innocent victim having the right to an unequivocal peccavi and apology before they are able to make peace. Often the object of hate and resentment is unwilling or unable to do either and the problem continues to fester much to the detriment of both the hater and the hated.

Thich Nhat Hanh is one of the many religious leaders the film The Power of Forgiveness profiles and he has a remedy for this problem. He says :

Suppose you are angry at your father. Many people are angry at their father, and yet if they don’t do anything to change it when they grow up, they will repeat exactly what their father did to them. They will do that to their own children. That is why we have a wonderful exercise of meditation that has helped so many angry sons and daughters who come to Plum Village:

Breathing in, I see myself as a 5-year-old child. Breathing out, I hold that 5-year-old child in me with tenderness. Breathing in, I see the 5-year-old child in me as fragile, vulnerable, easily wounded. Breathing out I feel the wound of that little child in me and use the energy of compassion to hold tenderly the wound of that child.

But then you continue—breathing in, I see my father as a 5-year-old boy. Breathing out, I smile to my father as a 5-year-old boy. Breathing in, I see how as a 5-year-old child my father was fragile, vulnerable. Breathing out, I feel compassion for my father as a 5-year-old boy.

When you are capable of visualizing your father as a 5-year-old boy, fragile, tender, full of wounds, you begin to understand and feel compassion. When the son is capable of practicing understanding and compassion, he no longer suffers and the father in him is also transformed. That moment, compassion is born in your heart. Now it is possible to forgive.